Crush

Have you ever had a crush on someone, but were afraid to tell? This is my story in rhyme.

The best way to describe it:
a hopeless crush
We were always the last ones to split
For us there was no rush
We didn't need to be with our boyfriends
Yes, we were good friends
and were on the same team
But in a way she was more mainstream
So in other words still part of a different team

One day, I just realized it: I had this crush
Sometimes out of nowhere, she could make me blush
Believe it or not, 
she didn't realize what battle I fought
No, she had no idea that in my wildest dream
she would finally join my team
That's what it was, just a dream

One day, out of nowhere, I started to cry
She asked me why
I had to cry
I wiped my eyes dry
and couldn't tell her why

Things changed after that, mostly because
she found a new cause
A new cause in her life and it was her boyfriend
She neglected me, her best friend

I never told her about my true feelings
Those were just untouched dealings
We saw eachother less and less
At first I was a mess
I really missed her so much
Give anything for even a touch

She decided to move to the city where her university was
Where she was touched my greedy paws
Contact was lost until today
As I was making my way
through the crowded city
I saw her and she looked do pretty

The OMG, the how are you?
And then she wanted to meet up, what was I to do?!

The saga continued and I agreed to meet
A soft, warm greet
We met up in a hipster coffee place
I studied her face 
like I did many times before
My throat was soar
My palms sweaty
and my legs were like spaghetti
I felt sick
but some caffeine did the trick
I was back in reality
only to see
her face right in front of me

We talked and I didn't show anything
But here's the thing
she, my crush,
was still able to make me blush
She noticed me blushing
Did she notice I was again crushing?

"You still blush, so sweet!"
Well wasn't that neat?!
A face like a tomato
Luckily, she let it go
Well, not so much luckily
Because suddenly
she changed the topic
This new topic, well it made me sick

"I'm getting married next year!"
She showed me a ring, shiny and clear
I acted and acted
Played, not showing I was impacted
It was as if the floor opened up
and all I could do was hanging on to my coffee cup

"Hey, are you okay," she asked seriously
OMG
She could see
how this affected me!

What was I to do?
I felt so blue
I fought tears and I ended up
holding even my coffee cup
even more stronger
I knew I couldn't take this much longer....

Close to a nervous breakdown
that's what it came down
Stupid of course, because her life went on
long after she was gone
Why shouldn't she get married?
But why did my heart bleed?
More importantly
how was I to act herr, instantly

She observed me carefully
Then finally
One question, just one 
"What's the matter l, hun?"
She took my hand and I completely lost it
Instead of going for bullshit
about everyone around me being so happy
there were only words of agony
I told her everything
every detail, didn't leave of one single thing

Her hand was still on my hand
I foud that hard to understand
Why was her hand still on my hand?!

Finally, my word stream 
ended and it all seemed as a bad dream
Why on earth did I do this?
Why did I threw myself down the abyss?!

She let go of my hand and picked up
her coffee cup
No words, nothing
It was just her observing

Then finally
she spoke to me
about my actions
and about her distractions
She even apologized
for all the moments that seemed minimized
for her but weren't for me
This was affecting her, I could see

She said there was no need to be
when I said sorry
She took my hand and looked me in the eyes
She said her team was always the Allies
and it was never my team
Then she told me about her dream...

When she was finished telling me about her dream
I was holding down a gigantic scream
What she just described made me soaking
No joking
I was in a state of arousal
It wasn't even abnormal

Well wouldn't you be, if your crush
Here was the blush
She described everything in detail
About her eating my tail
About her and me doing some mighty fine
number 69

I cursed softly
Absurdity!!!!
Insanity!!!
But also clarity
I wanted her more than ever!
Yes, I wanted her forever
However,
she was to be married
The only good deed:
to get myself buried!

Still her hand was there
It didn't ho anywhere
It was just waiting there! 
I wished that hand would be elsewhere!!
Right down there!!

Four chapters, I wrote about her - my crush
From here it's just a rush
or a flush
Or whatever it was
We tried to avoid cars
when crossing the street 
I know she was about to cheat
and I would totally let her go through with it
I know I'm a piece of shit!
How could I refuse her proposal?
How could I refuse this angel?
She was the one who came up with the idea
to leave the area
To go to my place
and ride my face
Good God, I was so hungry!
It made me angry
I counted the streets, two more
Thid was impossible, I couldn't wait anymore

I forced her to stand still
and I went downhill
In between her "Fuck, I can't believe..."
there was some relief
Because her dream finally
became reality
Inside the alley
it was just dillydally

With her legs wide
She was no longer able to hide
all she wanted me to do
What a view, whata view!

She came with one big yell
A window opened somewhere, and strong words fell
"Go away you dykes!"
Yikes...
We continued our journey
and left the alley....

We arrived at my doorstep
It was almost impossible to take one more step
She was all over me
Oh, she was greedy
and needy
We ended up in the hallway
She had her buffet
Once, then I said: "Bedroom, now!"
We rushed up the stairs, oh wow!

It didn't take long for us to undress
She in her dress
Me in my jeans
We were like machines
No, more like beasts
Ready for their feasts
Completely ready
My legs were like spaghetti
while she pushed them forward
One swearword
as her mouth began 
her game plan

"Am I doing it right?"
My moan was her greenlight
And I drifted away
a storm was coming my way
Before I knew it, I totally lost it
With her mouth on my clit
Her hands holding on to mine
This was more than fine
This was Cloud Nine!

When all was said and done
... Perhaps better: we had our fun
We just lied there on my bed
Thoughts racing through my head
Mostly fighting for yes and no
I know
the question was inevitable
But should I break this bubble?
This bubble of soft touching
Wouldn't that question be as much as judging?

To my surprise, she asked what was in my mind
Words were hard to find
At first I was just praising
About all the things so amazing
Then there were no more words to speak
I felt so weak
Before I knew it, I started to cry
Of course, she asked me why
I had to cry

I just said two words: "Your wedding"
Where was this conversation heading?
Her hand on my thigh
A sigh
Followed by "Yes"
Then: "I even picked a wedding dress"
Fears
Tears
She caressing my hairs

In just a few minutes it went from wow
to what now
What now?!

There was this elephant in the room
Inside a room filled with sex and perfume
Yes, we banged
and now it all boomeranged
Well, banged...
We fucked as best as we could
We might have woken up the whole neighborhood
Like I cared
But what we shared
seemed so far away
We didn't know what to say
So that's why there was this elephant
in my apartment

And there they were: tears
Tears about the fears
About the consequences
About squares and boxes
About crossing a line
When crossing it was mighty fine
The hangover came later
And now she was even cursing her creator
The OMG
The why me
The WHAT THE FUCK DID WE DO?!
And - very hurtful- HOW COULD YOU?!

Why
How could I?
It takes to two tango
but also
it takes one to realise what her future will be
It wasn't me
She
was the one to get married right?
Well, that didn't count in this fight!

Of course I was the shithead
Making her mad
Seductive
and destructive
Yep, you see
It was me

Was it?
Was I this piece of shit?!

Oh, we were fucking again
We were arguing and then
our lips ended up together
Such a strange adventure

We were still hungry as hell
Angry and fired up lead to a yell
"You whore,
gimme more!"
I've been called a whore before
Mostly in situations different
This time it wasn't an argument
it was steamy 
dreamy
sex
Sure, it was complex
If we weren't fucking it was, yes
Now it was just one big mess

I gave her more
I even called her a whore
She in return gave me even more
Harder, stronger than before! 

The storm calmed down
Reality made us frown
Did we just drown?


She stood up and got dressed
Still looked stressed
I lay in my bed, I looked
I knew that look, she was hooked
Addicted
Truly convicted
But she was in that phase of denial
Self-denial
Haven't we all been there?
Where?
In that phase where you think it nothing
but it's definitely something
But without saying nothing
she left me

And I let her flee...

Didn't I tell you she was hooked?
The way she looked
before leaving was that one
Still, she decided to leave and she was gone
A few days past and I did hear from her at all
Then she phoned me and told me she tried to walk tall
Pretending that it didn't affect her in any way
and the truth was: she couldn't think of everything that happened that day

I listened to her, but what should I say?
Telling her, that I just thought she was gay
and how she refused to admit this in any way?

"Why don't you say something?" 
So, I decided to do the good thing
Replying with "something"

It made her giggle and I loved to her that sound!
Still, there was this open wound
It was the result of her decision to leave
that eve... 

"Now what?" she finally said
There were a few thoughts in my head
Scurrilous things
Who emerged as water springs

"We can fuck each other all the way to pieces
Turning each and every round into masterpieces"
I suggested and waited for her reply
Her reply was simply just one sigh

Her sigh was the signal for me to keep going
In my mind I saw her cheeks, glowing
"Stop it, I'm at work!"
I said with a smirk: 
"You have two options: one is to go to the bathroom
and the other is to come over to my room"

She hesitated and asked me, "Should I call in sick?"
God, I can't believe she fell for that trick!
But, I said to her: "Call in sick!"

Half an hour later, there she was as expected
Her mind was infected
by everthing I said
In other words: I was inside her head!

She started to undress and told me to do the same
I decided to play a little game
and told her she had to undress and I did not
She did it there, right on the spot

"Now what," she asked nervous
Again I smirked and said: "From here on it's self service!"
She rolled her eyes and asked, "What?"
My reply: "Aren't you able to do that?"
Guess, what... 
she was able to do that!

This self service
made her even more nervous
It lead to begging and please
I was just being a tease
I got out of my dress
"Finally, yes!"
I heard her say
But I kept away
Didn't come closer
I pushed her away after
she tried to come closer

"I want to touch you," she said
I nodded my head
"Touch yourself, you are pretty good at that"
And there she went, rubbing her pussycat
It didn't take her long 
She came, nice and strong
When she was back into reality
she asked me:
"Now what?"
I used my last bullet
My last ammo
and said: "You came, isn't it time to go?"

I walked away into the other room
She decided to use the bathroom
Five minutes later she was out the door
Which was a good thing, because I couldn't take it anymore
I came using my fingers
After that I realized, I got no answers
She didn't say anything about what we should do
or whatever she wanted to pursue
Remember, she was still getting married
and this still made my heart bleed...

Ten times before, I used rhyme
to describe that time
when I saw my crush again
I described how she messed up my brain
Was our last encounter the final one?
Was she really gone?
That's up to you, so here's the contest:
do what you can do best
See it as your own quest
Write about how you think this all would end
Write about me and my friend
In the end,
we will compare your words with mine
Use your imagination, it's fine
Are you up for this quest?
Then do your best!
Quotations
and annotations,
yep you will be mentioned
and captioned

So, give it your best shot! 
I'm looking forward to it... a lot!